Postpartum, Post-Pitiful

Sorry, I know...too many postings at one time; I've done like 4 tonight, so you have to scroll down a while to get updated...but I guess I'm becoming a blog binger, it's just the way it is right now. :)
I guess this is my first reaction to life with three kids, but don't get ahead of me- that title is meant as a two-part, separate entity kind of thing. I'm not tying pitiful in with postpartum. Pitiful applies to the postal system that delivers my mail to my husband! ;) Get there in a sec. I know, that wasn't the best title. who cares.
I'm not sure if it's been rough or not without hubby here during this new phase of the family. I do have Grandma here. And she's not just any Grandma, but a Mother of the Year, the best mom you could ever have backing you up Grandma. So, in a way I'm feeling kind of spoiled. And recovery has gone so well, thank goodness. No complaints there. The roughest aspect is the transitioning of Lucy and Willie. I'm still understanding where they have holes in their life, and how to help them deal with all the changes. They seem to go through phases of liking and disliking the new baby. Sometimes they're all for her, loving her, helping her, watching me with her, etc. and other times they appear unmistakably hurt by her mere presence. I guess just as rough is my lower threshold for the older kids when they "don't listen!" I find myself saying that (always out of frustration) a lot lately (You're not listening, Why can't you listen; there's a dozen different ways it habitually comes out). If only they knew how much I need them to keep in line with the way things go. Ha, right. I know I'm focusing on the wrong side of the coin. We'll get things figured out though I'm sure.

So I'm going to throw in my allotted once a month free (military discount) "bash the postal system" line here. Why does it take so long to deliver my letters? I have not figured that out. They're just pitiful.
There. I said it.
You want to know something else pitiful? You should have seen Jeremy and I balling at the airport when we took him for this return flight to boot camp. We were kind of a mess. Allbeit a kind of strengthening experience at the same time. Anyway, it left me in fear for his first letter. I was sure he was going to be just miserable. But, fortunately, it wasn't! Here it is:

04 Jan 2010
Dearest Courtney,
I finally have a few minutes to write you before I hit the sack. I've ached for you since our second good-bye though. I think of you often, wishing I could be there for you as you recover from the birth. I want to hold your hand and massage your head until you fall asleep. I miss you terribly! Seems like a strange way to miss someone, but it's true. I feel incomplete without daily contact with you and the kiddos. But I know Heavenly Father will bless us as we endure the trial well. How are the kids? Is Hallee still healthy? Is she still the spit up queen? Any cute smiles or faces yet? Please try to take pictures! What about Lucy and Willie? Do they still love being big brother and sister? Things at basic are actually going pretty well. It hasn't been as a as I thought it would be. Some yelling, but that's to be expected. We haven't had any major smokings yet, so that shows something. I think everyone in our platoon came back, no AWOLS! I'm not sure about our company yet though. Someone asked one of our drill sgts. (who was actually being really cool to us at the time) if we are going to go to white phase, and he said, "We'll see, you might." But he said with a slight grin. It seems, like the drill sgts. are loosening the reigns just a tad. Tomorrow I'm going to fire my M16 with live rounds for the first time. Everyone is very excited about this. I am. It seems like PT is going to be on the back burner, but we'll see. A couple of times of items of business...(edited)...Well, actually I think that's all the business for now. I'm exhausted- gotta sleep. Early morning tomorrow. I love you with all my heart! xoxoxo! Haps
PS- Give the kids a hug and kiss for me!
PPS- I went shooting today. It was awesome! We were cold all day, but it was fun getting behind the weapon finally. I did very well. One of the Drill sgts. said, "Van Tress, you're going to be a very good soldier...is there anything you don't do well?" This meant a lot to me, especially coming from a drill sgt. I love you and miss you and the kids! Keep praying for me, as I always pray for you! Haps (1-4-10)

Couldn't be More Perfect

So in the middle of this busy, busy holiday season, I'm hoping to have a baby right? On top of that, my family all decides they are coming into town for the New Year and/or Christmas. Those not so intimately acquainted with me may not know that "all my family" includes 43 people. So we were having a mini reunion and then comes... our baby.
Baby was born on December 28, 2009 at 10:26pm, which was 10 days earlier than her due date. She weighed 7lbs 5oz and was 20 inches. She was perfect with cute dark hair. We named the baby Hallee Ryse (the pronunciation is hal/ee and reese, nickname is Aly is that's easier ;). This was the most anxious time for us and yet it seems like the smoothest labor and delivery of any of mine. The Lord's hand was definitely present. We were so anxious about when the baby would come as Jeremy only had 2 weeks home and then he HAD to leave to go back to army training. We had talked about inducing with doctors and they were supportive of it.
We went in for an appointment on the 28th and tried to set up a date for inducing. The midwife we saw that day then told us that they couldn't induce because they had not been our provider during the first part of the pregnancy and they didn't have anything on record that could confirm the due date and eleminate a possibility of a preterm baby. If I really wanted to induce, I would have to do an amniocentesis. I was against having that done, and luckily Jeremy sympathized because in the end it meant, no inducing. I was relieved a little as I didn't really want to be induced, but it forced Jeremy to be willing to accept that he might miss the birth, which was hard. Well, the midwife also swept the membranes at that appointment to see if it would help start labor. It must have helped because we had the baby that night! We were so relieved at the way everything went, we couldn't have planned it more perfectly. Thus, you know it was planned by someone else instead. :)
Looking back on it, it's kind of comical they way it worked out too. I started labor late afternoon and it was in a good rhythm by around dinner. Here we had twenty-something people downstairs getting dinner ready and laughing, etc. and there I was upstairs in labor. I came down around 8:30pm ready to go to the hospital. Everyone was so surprised I had the baby so soon.


Now do you see those glasses?! GCBs! LOL! (sorry honey.)



Although Jeremy left a quick 5 days later, it was enough time to help me feel put back together pretty well. We also were able to bless Hallee while everyone was still here. It was a great experience. This Daddy and his girls pic- doesn't it just hit your heart?
This cute quilt was made by Shoshanna, my sis-in-law, who has handmade gifts for each of my children when they were born. How cool is that? I've been trying to make a quilt for my niece and it still isn't done a year and half later, so I don't know how often I'll be attempting that again. Shoshanna made a cute quilt for Lucy, and a cool lap blanket with crocheted edges for Willie, and this quilt for Hallee. I love the fabric patterns and colors, and the gingerbread girl melts my heart!

Christmas!

Look at all the cute cousins at our annual Nativity Story. It was fun to be with my lots of siblings for Christmas eve- Travis, Kris and Brenda and their families. Uncle Travi the forever donkey! lol! Well, until someday... :)
Thanks Santa! My favorite presents were all the dress up clothes!!

Thanks Santa! My favorite present was my new bike!
Willie opening his bike present was the best reaction of all. I guess probably because it was the biggest. Anyway, he was cute screaming with excitement, "A bike!!"

December Revisited

I feel I've left this blog in the dust! There's so much that has happened since I've posted! So I'm going to blur by a few and get on to bigger and better things. The first half of December was busy with community events going on- the Corvallis Nativity Festival, and playdates with our moms group.
This is a picture at Albany Storybook Land. I have to be competely honest, not an activity I would recommnend. It kind of reminded me of when we went to the Rasmussen Farm and saw the pumpkin display. The displays look like they've been sitting around since 1970 or something. Ok, it's probably something fun to pass the time, normally, but we went to Storybook Land on probalby the worst possible day because it was SO, SO, I MEAN SO COLD!! It was like 14 degrees, and I obviously didn't dress the kids well enough. They did better than they should have but it did end in meltdowns and plenty of snacks. They earned it.
Mary and Joseph at the Nativity Festival. We showed up for the puppetshow only to find out they decided to start it early and we're already done! That was the only opportuniety we had to get to the Nativity Festival. Quite a let down, but oh well.

I had to make a choice how much Christmas fun we were going to without Daddy or wait til he gets home. We did a lot of fun stuff before he got home, of course, we even went to get a tree. This is really the first Christmas tree we've bought for ourselves. In Hawaii, we never got one. We went with friends from a moms group. They had a little "sleigh ride" and I thought Lucy was funny to hold on to this rope and balance the whole way around.

Daddy finally did get home for the holidays! It was kind of emotional. I'm sure you're thinking, ha, just wait until real deployments. I know, I know. Moving on. Even though Jeremy was crying he was so happy to see us, I couldn't help but bust up laughing when I saw his #1, his glasses, #2, his hat. I knew their issued glasses were funny looking, but this was the first time I actually saw them. There not even in this picture though. This is the only picture we took where he had all army-ed out. His brother and wife came to visit for a couple days at Christmas. It was fun to have them here!

Two letters came from Jeremy, on the same day. The mail is so weird. I found out he hasn't been getting my letters, on time. Argh! So frustrating! It's so great to think he comes home this week! It's been such an emotional anchor that I don't know what we would have done if he didn't have this Christmas break in the middle of training. Everything always seems to have a way to work itself out for the best. I keep feeling more and more like nothings ready for this baby to come, and yet we're all hoping it comes soon! When I think about after delivery, post-partum, I keep thinking of it as "the other side." Like delivering is just this portal hole into this completely crazy unknown world that I know I'm not ready for and I don't know even how to start to prepare for. I don't think I was this anxious when Willie was born. I'm starting to just vent, so I think I'll quit for now. :)

04Dec09
Dear Sweets,
Right now I'm on what's called "Fire Guard" duty, which is when me and my battle buddy wake up during the night to make sure everyone is still in their bunks, the weapon are all "green" and on safe (no magazines and no bullets in the chamber), and that everything is clean. Our duty is for one hour, after which we are relieved by another two soldiers. So, we got everything done and I just wanted to say hi and that I miss you. I sure hope everything is going well for you and the kids. How is it at church? I sure miss you guys. I have some pictures of you and the kids in my wall locker so I can look at you guys everyday. Sometimes I feel myself wanting to kiss you all in the photo because I miss you so much. Today we went on our first road march. It wasn't very long, but some soldiers had a tough time because we had all our gear on including our weapons (M-16s). Midway through the march, we did some Team Building Development courses. We were split into squads, which will last throughout BCT. Well, my squad isn't so good. I've got a lot of clowns and bozos on my squad. I'm not too happy bout that. But, there's not much I can do about it. On one of the courses today, I was trying to move one long board to another location, about 5-6 ft off the ground, the weight and momentum of the board caused me to fall and my throat hit the board. It hurt a lot, and it is still sore, but I'm fine. I just have a sore and swollen throat. I was excited to eat an "MRE", which are Meals Ready to Eat. I like these a lot in fact I think it would be neat to have them as food storage. They are so cool. You just open the package, and usually it's something hot. You put whatever needs to be warmed, such as spaghetti and meatballs, into a bag, and just a little water to the bag, and it heats up for you in a matter of 2-3 minutes. Meanwhile, you have lots of yummy sides like peanut butter and jelly, and crackers, bread, etc. They are good! They even come with juice or shakes, and cookies! yum! These are coveted items here at BCT. We definitely don't eat cookies and shakes in the chow hall. I hope we eat lots of MREs during BCT. So far, we've had 4 of them. I've liked them all. Anyways, so what's going on with you guys? I haven't received letter yet..? Did you get all our documents back yet? I sent them about a week ago in a big yellow folder. I hope you got them.
05Dec09 letter continued
I feel things are getting much better here at Ft. Jackson on some levels. Yes, the young immature punks keep making others suffer. I don't mind so much anymore because I know I can take whatever smokings they can dish out. We did our first real APFT yesterday, apparently I did the best in the company. I was tired from other stuff, and the drill sgt. was making me work for it. She said like 12 of my push-ups didn't count, but I know they were regulation, they just don't want to give anyone a 100% on the 1st APFT. So, I only got 62 push ups, 76 sit-ups and 11:50s on the run. We have hardly been running so I was actually pretty happy with the run. Today, we went on our first ruck march. My boots are too short so my big toe goes numb; hopefully I can get them resized. The march went well, but I hate the gear they issue us. It doesn't fit us properly and they just plain don't get the job right. It was funny though today. After we got to our location, we had some classes outdoors to apply infantry skills we've been learning. One of the drill sgt.s whips out a bag of..you know what...FLAMING HOT CHEETOS!!!! ahh!! My taste bus were screaming! I shouted out "Drill Sgt, those are my favor tie chips!" and he just smiles on as other soldiers going "ah man!" It was funny though. I got your 2 letters and the email you sent. Sweetheart, it was so good to hear from you! It always is. Don't worry about what you write. I appreciate anything you have on your mind that you want to tell me Any words from you are like the Heavenly language of love, joy and eternal significance. It helps me to know you joys, sorrows, achievements and disappointments because then I can pray for you more heartfully. I loved the placemats, the pictures and letters. It means so much to me. I hope we talk on the phone tonight. Church is about to start so I'd better go. Until we meet again, hand to hand, eyt to eye and heart to heart.
With Love,
Haps

07Dec09
Dearest Courtney,
Today wasn't the best of days for me. I found out that pone privileges for the whole company, which is over 250 soldiers have been suspended because someone's friend lied and said they were a soldier's parent needed to speak with him. The person was not his father, and our drill sgts found out somehow and they said that the whole company will suffer for that. I'm so frustrated because I'm doing all I can to be the best soldier I can, and yet I still pay for the stupidity and immaturity of others. Ultimately, you and the kids lose out on this one too. So, when i found that out, I was pretty sad. I think they were planning on letting us use the phone soon too. :( Overall thou, I must say that some kids are coming around and are starting to realize that this is not boys/girls camp, but it is the Army, and they are getting paid!
On a more positive note; I've had some great missionary experiences so far. Yesterday, one kid who has been struggling because his family hasn't written him, took a seat on my bunk and just looked at me as if he wanted to talk. I had my scriptures out on my bed and he noticed them. I explained about the book of Mormon and some of our basic beliefs. We talked about his family situations and I testified to him that prayer helps to endure challenges. Well, w had a really good, heartfelt prayer. He talked and listened to me as if I were his older bro. Well, later that night when lights were out and it was time to go to bed, he came back and asked if I would pray with him. Of course, I told him I'd be happy to. So, we knelt at my bunk, amidst foul language and people not accustomed to prayer, and offered prayer. It was a very powerful experience. He felt the spirit and felt more at peace. Tonight he approached me again for prayer. I told him we could make it a daily practice and it seems like he wants to. It's exciting to see the spirit of God work in a young man like this.
I'm so sad that we won't be able to talk soon. Hopefully I can call you before I leave for Christmas. Speaking of Christmas, how did the creche go? I was praying that it would go alright. Did the shelves we made work alright?
Today we actually had ribs for lunch! It was so good, even though it was short lived. I'm only given 3-5 minutes to eat! So I don't get to savor the taste. What else is happening? Tomorrow we practice land navigation and I think we also have the gas chamber. 'll let you know how that goes. Well, I'd better go. Sorry the writing is so bad. It's dark and I'm writing under my flashlight. I love you and miss you! I'm counting the days till I can see you! 8 days! I can't wait! Don't forget, don't write (send) me letters after Dec.11. They will chuck it. I can't wait to be with you and the kids. May the Lord's blessings shower down upon you.
Jeremy

Church for my solider

Well, as long as I'm staying up so late... I might as well put up a new post. I did receive 2 letters from Jeremy, so I'll share those. I haven't had a call from him for a couple weeks now, but last Sunday night I got a call from the bishop's wife in our church's ward that is on base there. She said she was calling, just to let me know that Jeremy made it to church today. I couldn't believe it, how sweet is that?! How many wives/families was she trying to call I wonder?! She didn't have much news on Jeremy personally I don't think but just said, it's hard for them right now, but they'll be okay. I guess that's as good of an explanation as any. The ward on base has about 200 members. They have a lot of soldiers interested in learning about God so they attend the meetings and have quite a few baptisms. She says it's very much a mission-like experience. I also got a letter this week from the church headquarters just relaying their thanks for supporting my husband in his service with the military and the sacrifice it requires. It is impressive that the church keeps track of the welfare of so many citizens around the globe in so many different circumstances. The church is there in disaster relief to give aide. They're there to support those in the military. They've got their ducks in a row to make sure they can reach out to as many people as possible. It is very inspiring. You'd think I could keep track of my few visiting teaching sisters!

24 Nov. 2009

Hey Sweets,
I haven't had much time to do anything since coming to basic. Most of what we are expected to do is not hard, it just requires discipline and self control. Today we ate a Thanksgiving dinner, but we all know we were just going to get smoked and throw it all up. "Smoked" is when they punish us for not follow directions or breaking rules. I almost cried tonight at dinner because I was missing you and the kids so much. There's a guy who bunks next to me who has kids. He's having a rough time right now.

29 Nov. 2009

My dearest Sweetheart,
I am overflowed with joy and peace. I am sitting in an LDS chapel on post, awaiting the start of church. As i entered the chapel, I felt as if I was entering the temple and leaving behind they filth of what I live in daily. It reminds me of why I am here; to serve my country and make it a more peaceful and harmonious place. When you get a chance, and you are at the kitchen table looking out at the beautiful trees, hearing only the whistle of the wind and the precious sounds of our children playing peacefully and happily, think about the sacrifice that soldiers and families give to provide that serenity and joy. Look out that window and pray for me that soon we will rejoice together in that same joy. Until then, we might be separated physically, but I know that thought prayer we can be connected emotionally and spiritually; your joy is my joy, your pain is my pain. Each morning I awake, I think of you in prayer, and each night I lay my head to sleep I think of you. When I'm in formation I think of you my eternal treasure. Please give the kids a big hug and a kiss for me. I miss them so much. I love you to the endless bounds of eternity.
Your husband and friend,
Haps
PS- I kicked butt in the puggle matches!

01 Dec. 2009

Hey Sweets,
How's things over in your neck of the woods? I sure hope things are going alright. Things here at Ft. Jackson are heating up. We've done the puggle matches, the combatives course, and victory tower. Now we pretty much just need to do the gas chamber, which I've heard we are doing sometime this week. The puggles were fun. I kicked my "enemy's" butt 3-1. Combatives were fun, but I was disappointed because we "didn't have time" to have matches so we didn't get to practice what we learned. Victory tower was fun. I got to rappel down the tower and some other cool stuff. Today we bought our plane tickets for Christmas leave! I can't remember the airline (they took our tickets away to make sure we didn't lose them) but I know arrive at Eugene airport at 11:59 (basically midnite). The ticket was $645! Expensive. Apparently the money won't be taken from my check until January. So be mindful of that in your budget. I've enclosed a letter tot eh Jensen's to save on stamps. I don't know when we'll be able to buy more stamps. I love you and miss you increasingly. I pray the Lord's blessings are upon you always. Give the kids hugs and kisses for me!
With love and affection,
Jeremy
PS- Today we got to go to the beach...which is actually a huge sand pit where we get smoked! I thought it was fun, good workout. Most everybody else was about to quit.
PPS- They told us to tell everyone that we can't receive letters after Dec. 11 because no on will be here to open it. If you do, it will get trashed. No mail after Dec. 11.
PPPS- I found out today that you can email me weekly letters through the missionaries at the branch here at Ft. Jackson. The emails can be up to two pages. They cannot have attachments or photos of any kind in the email. Just letters. If you write them before Friday, maybe Saturday, they should get to me on Sunday! So, it's much quicker that snail mail. But snail mail is nice to, especially if it has pictures and other cool stuff. The email address is: xxx (let me know if you want it!)
I LOVE YOU!!
Jeremy
PS- If you have questions you can call the couple missionaries, Elder and Sister Fullmer.

I'm sorry if these letters got too personal or emotional for anybody...oh well.
As for updates on the rest of the family-- nothing to big too report. I'm feeling those 8 month labor pains: loose hips, crazy kicking from baby, pushing on my stomach, stuff like that. I guess I'm getting ready...! :) Did I mention we don't even have a name for this baby yet!!! I'm starting to get a little stressed about it. The older two both have family names and were no brainers. But I haven't thought of any family names, and I haven't any names that I totally feel drawn towards just because I like them. Of course that wouldn't happen, I'm too indecisive for that! ;) Would it be too out there to name her, "Liberty"? We could call her "Libby." I don't know, any advice or suggestions- not that I should take it! :P Then we'd have a Lucy and Libby...hmmm... I don't know, just seemed fitting for the stage of life right now. Maybe I'll just let Jeremy name her altogether as something special he gave to the baby. If that were the case, I could see her name end up being Isabella. Oh gosh, I know Twilight fans... Jeremy's not some die-hard fan though ya know. He hasn't read the books. I'm not totally a fan of Bella from the movies. Haha, anyway, who knows!!

Recipe: Extra Smooth Chocolate Icing (Carnation Evaporated Milk label, 1960's)

Recipe: Extra Smooth Chocolate Icing (Carnation Evaporated Milk label, 1960's)