Two letters came from Jeremy, on the same day. The mail is so weird. I found out he hasn't been getting my letters, on time. Argh! So frustrating! It's so great to think he comes home this week! It's been such an emotional anchor that I don't know what we would have done if he didn't have this Christmas break in the middle of training. Everything always seems to have a way to work itself out for the best. I keep feeling more and more like nothings ready for this baby to come, and yet we're all hoping it comes soon! When I think about after delivery, post-partum, I keep thinking of it as "the other side." Like delivering is just this portal hole into this completely crazy unknown world that I know I'm not ready for and I don't know even how to start to prepare for. I don't think I was this anxious when Willie was born. I'm starting to just vent, so I think I'll quit for now. :)

04Dec09
Dear Sweets,
Right now I'm on what's called "Fire Guard" duty, which is when me and my battle buddy wake up during the night to make sure everyone is still in their bunks, the weapon are all "green" and on safe (no magazines and no bullets in the chamber), and that everything is clean. Our duty is for one hour, after which we are relieved by another two soldiers. So, we got everything done and I just wanted to say hi and that I miss you. I sure hope everything is going well for you and the kids. How is it at church? I sure miss you guys. I have some pictures of you and the kids in my wall locker so I can look at you guys everyday. Sometimes I feel myself wanting to kiss you all in the photo because I miss you so much. Today we went on our first road march. It wasn't very long, but some soldiers had a tough time because we had all our gear on including our weapons (M-16s). Midway through the march, we did some Team Building Development courses. We were split into squads, which will last throughout BCT. Well, my squad isn't so good. I've got a lot of clowns and bozos on my squad. I'm not too happy bout that. But, there's not much I can do about it. On one of the courses today, I was trying to move one long board to another location, about 5-6 ft off the ground, the weight and momentum of the board caused me to fall and my throat hit the board. It hurt a lot, and it is still sore, but I'm fine. I just have a sore and swollen throat. I was excited to eat an "MRE", which are Meals Ready to Eat. I like these a lot in fact I think it would be neat to have them as food storage. They are so cool. You just open the package, and usually it's something hot. You put whatever needs to be warmed, such as spaghetti and meatballs, into a bag, and just a little water to the bag, and it heats up for you in a matter of 2-3 minutes. Meanwhile, you have lots of yummy sides like peanut butter and jelly, and crackers, bread, etc. They are good! They even come with juice or shakes, and cookies! yum! These are coveted items here at BCT. We definitely don't eat cookies and shakes in the chow hall. I hope we eat lots of MREs during BCT. So far, we've had 4 of them. I've liked them all. Anyways, so what's going on with you guys? I haven't received letter yet..? Did you get all our documents back yet? I sent them about a week ago in a big yellow folder. I hope you got them.
05Dec09 letter continued
I feel things are getting much better here at Ft. Jackson on some levels. Yes, the young immature punks keep making others suffer. I don't mind so much anymore because I know I can take whatever smokings they can dish out. We did our first real APFT yesterday, apparently I did the best in the company. I was tired from other stuff, and the drill sgt. was making me work for it. She said like 12 of my push-ups didn't count, but I know they were regulation, they just don't want to give anyone a 100% on the 1st APFT. So, I only got 62 push ups, 76 sit-ups and 11:50s on the run. We have hardly been running so I was actually pretty happy with the run. Today, we went on our first ruck march. My boots are too short so my big toe goes numb; hopefully I can get them resized. The march went well, but I hate the gear they issue us. It doesn't fit us properly and they just plain don't get the job right. It was funny though today. After we got to our location, we had some classes outdoors to apply infantry skills we've been learning. One of the drill sgt.s whips out a bag of..you know what...FLAMING HOT CHEETOS!!!! ahh!! My taste bus were screaming! I shouted out "Drill Sgt, those are my favor tie chips!" and he just smiles on as other soldiers going "ah man!" It was funny though. I got your 2 letters and the email you sent. Sweetheart, it was so good to hear from you! It always is. Don't worry about what you write. I appreciate anything you have on your mind that you want to tell me Any words from you are like the Heavenly language of love, joy and eternal significance. It helps me to know you joys, sorrows, achievements and disappointments because then I can pray for you more heartfully. I loved the placemats, the pictures and letters. It means so much to me. I hope we talk on the phone tonight. Church is about to start so I'd better go. Until we meet again, hand to hand, eyt to eye and heart to heart.
With Love,
Haps

07Dec09
Dearest Courtney,
Today wasn't the best of days for me. I found out that pone privileges for the whole company, which is over 250 soldiers have been suspended because someone's friend lied and said they were a soldier's parent needed to speak with him. The person was not his father, and our drill sgts found out somehow and they said that the whole company will suffer for that. I'm so frustrated because I'm doing all I can to be the best soldier I can, and yet I still pay for the stupidity and immaturity of others. Ultimately, you and the kids lose out on this one too. So, when i found that out, I was pretty sad. I think they were planning on letting us use the phone soon too. :( Overall thou, I must say that some kids are coming around and are starting to realize that this is not boys/girls camp, but it is the Army, and they are getting paid!
On a more positive note; I've had some great missionary experiences so far. Yesterday, one kid who has been struggling because his family hasn't written him, took a seat on my bunk and just looked at me as if he wanted to talk. I had my scriptures out on my bed and he noticed them. I explained about the book of Mormon and some of our basic beliefs. We talked about his family situations and I testified to him that prayer helps to endure challenges. Well, w had a really good, heartfelt prayer. He talked and listened to me as if I were his older bro. Well, later that night when lights were out and it was time to go to bed, he came back and asked if I would pray with him. Of course, I told him I'd be happy to. So, we knelt at my bunk, amidst foul language and people not accustomed to prayer, and offered prayer. It was a very powerful experience. He felt the spirit and felt more at peace. Tonight he approached me again for prayer. I told him we could make it a daily practice and it seems like he wants to. It's exciting to see the spirit of God work in a young man like this.
I'm so sad that we won't be able to talk soon. Hopefully I can call you before I leave for Christmas. Speaking of Christmas, how did the creche go? I was praying that it would go alright. Did the shelves we made work alright?
Today we actually had ribs for lunch! It was so good, even though it was short lived. I'm only given 3-5 minutes to eat! So I don't get to savor the taste. What else is happening? Tomorrow we practice land navigation and I think we also have the gas chamber. 'll let you know how that goes. Well, I'd better go. Sorry the writing is so bad. It's dark and I'm writing under my flashlight. I love you and miss you! I'm counting the days till I can see you! 8 days! I can't wait! Don't forget, don't write (send) me letters after Dec.11. They will chuck it. I can't wait to be with you and the kids. May the Lord's blessings shower down upon you.
Jeremy