Army Wife

I'm officially inducted into the army wives club, and have survived two weeks. It has been harder than I thought in some ways. It's not so hard "losing my freedom" to having to be with the kids 24/7. I owe this to my mom as she's been a great support to the kids- they've enjoyed being her sidekicks. The hardest part was just letting him go knowing that he was going to a place not so fun and I couldn't do anything about it. The tears on my pillow were repeatedly over the question, why?! But that's too much to go into now...

The first week for the solider is reception, so it's not that tough as far as boot camp goes. I was surprised Jeremy was able to call me right when they got in and then also the next two nights. They kept him up all night the first night, so he was pretty worn out, and then add the drill ceremony and the soreness- so the first couple calls he was not quite chipper. But then the next couple times I talked to him he seemed better because he was adjusting physically and making friends.
I talked to him Sunday night (before Thanksgiving) right before they were going to "lock up" the cell phones. He had received his gear and gun and they were about to be moved into the training part of boot camp- the "trailer park" is what they call where they stay because the rooms are kind of like trailers and were built over a trash site.
I was surprised on Thanksgiving morning when he called at 6:30am. I almost missed it, luckily he was leaving a long enough message on the answering machine. I picked it up I think just as he was starting to cry- he was so happy to be able to talk to me. We both broke down a couple times during that call. It was kind of hard, and partly I just wasn't sure what to say because I just wanted to cry along with him (and I was). But I thought that would make him worse, when I needed to try and cheer him up-- so he wouldn't have to face any razzing for crying after his call. ;) He really missed being with family though. It's hard not to feel guilty that we're living such a nice life and he's stuck in this harsh environment (it is a feeling of guilt even though I know this was a voluntarily choice.) It's hard to explain I guess. There's just a lot of emotions to explain- it's almost too hard to get it all out- I won't even try.

Anyway, we were excited to get our first letter from him this week! I thought it would be fun to post his letters on the blog mostly for his family to be able to keep tabs on him as I know he doesn't have too much time to write.

19 Nov. 2009 I found a few minutes to write; however it's dark and at 4:30am. Many of us have woken up early for exercise, partly because most of us don't really know what time it is. My back seems to be feeling okay right now, but I know after standing "at ease" for a half hour to an hour, that will change again real quick. So far, boot camp seems to be more about hope, faith and charity than about warfare. The head drill instructor is a staunch baptist and minister and he is not ashamed to proclaim it, which I think is cool. He uses God to motivate soldiers to follow through with their commitments. I didn't expect this out of any of the drill instructors. Most of them are not like that; or at least they don't appear to be like that. They are extremely intimidating. The look as though they live for nothing more but to challenge their soldiers constantly. The tougher they are on us, the better job they are doing. Still, one of the main lines in the "soldier's creed" is, "I will not quit." Some soldiers here talked of quitting, but be assured that I will not. I have made a commitment knowing full well that there will be times of deep uncertainty and disheartening feelings.
Letter continued on 20 Nov 2009.
Today was a very encouraging day. It was challenging, but in many ways, I feel I rose to the challenges. We got our shots today. It wasn't nearly as bad as everyone says it is. They move the line quickly and in 2 minutes, all the shots are done. The last one made everyone bleed, but it wasn't to bad. I got my nerdy glasses today, but they don't seem to be the right prescription. So, hopefully, I can get that worked out and get it checked out. We stood "at ease" for so long today. It makes my back, and arms, and legs really sore. Doubt starts to creep into my mind and that's when I say a prayer and ask Heavenly Father to give me strength to make it through and endure it well. Our drill instructor went over a lot of drill and ceremony stuff tonight. A bit of yelling at those that don't know it yet. I'm glad I worked hard on that stuff before I came. I haven't really been yelled at too badly yet. Tonight at personal time, we had a push-up contest. Before I went the most amount of push-ups was 51. I ended up doing 83, after I had already done a work out, etc. By the time I was done, my whole bay of soldiers was huddled around me, yelling in my face like a drill Sargent. You don't want to know what else they were doing. But they were all impressed. Obviously I won the competition. But it was fun. Well, I love you. I wish I had more time to write and talk to you. I miss you all the time. I can't wait for Christmas break! I will mail the documents necessary for health insurance as soon as I know my mailing address, that way in case it doesn't make it to you, it can be sent back to me. Give the kiddos a big hug and kiss for me.
Love,
Your husband and best friend,
Haps.

If you are wondering what kind of answers we have to the question "why," you might go to Jeremy's blog (click on the link Happy Man from the righthand sidebar) and read what he's written. It doesn't say anything of the inner battles going on inside us, but does share his overall feelings. Anyone who would like to send a letter, I'll include his address. Don't bother sending candy, food, any kind of contraband of course. Just uplifting letters are great!

SPC Van Tress, Jeremy
1st Platoon Outlaws
Alpha Company 3-34 IN
Fort Jackson, SC 29207

GO ARMY!

What are we going to do?!

So, we lose our daddy in 4 days! What are we going to do?! We've been able to all be home together for the last 2 months- as if THAT'S not going to make things worse. I keep telling myself that he's just away on business. If I think about what he's going to be doing, I start to get a little hysterical. I still haven't accepted this whole new route of life, I admit it. I don't know where to start and even worse I've been sitting on this fence of not wanting to start accepting it, still hoping it will go away. These are confessions of the army wife, I guess. Sometimes when I'm in my really level-headed mode I can pull back to the 'even bigger' perspective and I feel that patriotism and pride in knowing someone who is serving the country in such a way. It's incredible when you read the statistics about how ready our country is to protect itself. Only 75% of young men actually meet the standards to qualify for the army. What's happened to the health of our country? Kind of sad. Not readily noticeable because we do tend to do well military-speaking, so noone notices or thinks of the ramifications of the state of our people. Maybe we've all stopped caring- relying too much on vaccines and doctors anyway.
Wow, okay I'm skipping from subject to subject and not even making any real points. So, time to move on. The kids have been my food in life lately. The very things that sustain me. Willie just had his birthday...(I should post those pics)...and it seems like his language just leaped and bounded up. He mimics a lot! And Lucy seems to have increased her level as well. Let's see if I can round up a few of my favorites:
Lucy- likes to say "that's perfect, mom!" "yadayada, then it will be perfect, mom!" Glad she's picking up that perfectionism so soon. When her attitude is in full speed, she'll always pull out the "I'm just trying to help." Climbing up onto the desk to take the big scissors... "I'm just trying to help"... yeah, right, whatever girl.
Willie- says anything and everything someone else says so it always cracks me up how much older he sounds than he actually is. I have to take the blame for the recent acquisitions of some swear words, like: dang it! and crap! Yes, he'll pull those out now on his own. But his full blown attitude comes in a dramatic form, it usually involves a rigid, slightly leaned forward pose, probably a pointing finger, then shouts "yadayada, OKAY!!" I guess it's the way he says OKAY! that you just have to hear it to know he means business.
Ok- so let's see if I can throw some pictures on this random post:




First we have the family's excursion to a local pumpkin patch. This was the kid's first time to a pick a pumpkin (and Jeremy's too I think). The place also had other fun activities, one was a giant 'cornbox' which is kind of like a sandbox, but filled with feed corn. It's so fun.
We had a birthday party for Willie in the barn! I couldn't resist- I had to make it big. I didn't know when I'd get this chance to actually be living near the barn during birthday time again- let alone Willie's birthday, the setting was perfect for a haunted birthday bash! So fun! We probably had about 35 people there. I honestly was expecting more, but it was still way fun. We had a trick-or-treat tree, the trampoline, bouncy horse, hay fort, a pumpkin toss game, and a haunted tic-tac-toe game. We had lots of food. And then finally had a bat pinata to finish the festivities. I love this shot of Jenelle with the cast of the Wizard of Oz in the background. It was fun that every child got to swing at the bat-from the very smallest to the oldest was 11 years old and she actually broke it open. I didn't take enough pictures, but oh well. I was working hard to finish their halloween costumes. As is my tradition, I made them again. Last year was all no-sew costumes (because I didn't have access to a machine) so this year was quite the opposite, quite a bit of sewing involved- which also meant quite a bit of my mom's helping involved! She was awesome and helped til we finally got them done at the last minute. My mother-in-law was also in town to help with party preparations, so that was a life-saver. I even left them all working the morning of to hit up the big sale at Old Navy (spending way too much)... I'm so bad!! Anyway, Willie was Superman. I adore his costume! It's patterned after one made by my grandmother which is very sentimental. It was also my second attempt at doing applique (and I did a much better job than the first, so I'm making improvements). Lucy was going to be a witch, but my sewing job bombed out there. I gave up after it was 95% done, and decided to just make her a costume she'd really want to wear anway...she was Angelina Ballerina. (That's a little white mouse ballerina character from a book series...maybe you know of it?) She had a tail, mouse ears, and whiskers along with her tutu in the final shot, but it's not pictured in the one above. She was pretty cute.
Happy Holidays everyone! In case I don't get around to another post until the baby comes... I'm due on Jan. 6th, though the ultrasound said the baby is gaining weight a little ahead of time and could put me at Dec. 31st. It's a girl, btw. We've been preoccupied with a due date and when she's going to come because Jeremy will only be here for 2 weeks for Christmas and we're hoping he can be at the birth! I'm not sure the option of inducing, though I really don't want to. We'll see how it goes. I have a feeling nothing's going to be ready for when the baby comes... ah, life.

Never stops...

So what's a mom to do? Here I am having baby #3... the next big purchase is a baby carrier. With baby #2, it was a double stroller. Now, I'm feeling the need to have a good baby carrier. For a long time I've heard many mom recommendations about ERGO baby carriers. I totally dig em. I can't say I've tried one, but I like everything about it so far! So, now there's a chance to WIN won...yes, I said win one!! All my friends are laughing and rolling their eyes- well, one or both of those I guess.

Want a chance to win one? Join me, and check out this cool blog: www.Mamanotes.com